


We Got The Shade

by haipollai



Series: burning lights [1]
Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Magic, Elemental Magic, Getting Together, M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-14
Updated: 2016-12-14
Packaged: 2018-09-08 14:42:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8848987
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haipollai/pseuds/haipollai
Summary: He and Nicky end up back in his apartment after lunch. He opens up the balcony door with a happy sigh. He had purposefully chosen a unit that would get a lot of afternoon light. Nicky curls up now like a cat on one of the chairs set outside. “He's not doing well,” Andre says without preamble, dropping into the other chair. He drops his head into his hands. “You can't fix everything,” Nicky says. “But-” “And what happens next?”





	

Andre watches Nicky close his eyes and tilt his head back to soak up the sun. Jojo is a few steps behind, grumbling under his breath. 

 

He knows he's lucky, getting drafted to a team that had Swedes on it. Nicky doesn't talk about what it was like when he first joined the league. He'll talk about Alex and Greenie. He'll share stories of the team but nothing about himself. 

 

He asked Jojo about it once. Jojo smirked and told him to be a better listener. 

 

Andre walks up to Nicky now and bumps with his shoulder. Nicky arches an eyebrow at him, waiting with all his characteristic patience. “I'm hungry.”

 

It startles a laugh out of him and Jojo claps Andre on the shoulder. “Come on you bottomless pit.”

 

“Hey!”

 

“It's ok,” Nicky says. “I've got a tab going for when he gets his big contract.”

 

Andre pouts and let's himself be pulled towards Nicky’s car. He had driven in with Tom today so doesn't have to worry about living his own car behind. “No fair, Nicke, you'll take _all_  of it.”

 

Nicky shoots him a wicked grin. “Never. Have to leave enough you can take care of me in my old age.”

 

“Isn't that what Alex is for?” He whines. 

 

“Accept your fate,” Jojo says with obviously fake sincerity.

 

“I'm never passing to you again.” Andre sniffs, trying to look haughty and regal, but it never works. It's not who he is and he can't wear it well. 

 

-

 

He and Nicky end up back in his apartment after lunch. He opens up the balcony door with a happy sigh. He had purposefully chosen a unit that would get a lot of afternoon light. Nicky curls up now like a cat on one of the chairs set outside. 

 

“He's not doing well,” Andre says without preamble, dropping into the other chair. He drops his head into his hands. 

 

“You can't fix everything,” Nicky says. 

 

“But-” 

 

“And what happens next?” 

 

Andre doesn't answer because he knows. It would be even worse if he tries. He's never gone that far himself, he's never had a reason too. He wonders if Nicky has. Andre looks up between his fingers to look at him and there is something sad in the press of his lips. Andre knows it couldn't have happened with Alex, Alex is somehow special. Someone else then. Someone Nicky doesn't talk about. 

 

“What do you feel for him?” Nicky asks, shifting around to catch the sun as it comes out from behind a cloud. 

 

Andre blinks. He never let himself think about it, they're not Nicky and Alex with their long term contracts. Either of them could be gone next season. “It doesn’t matter.”

 

Nicky rolls his eyes. “Don’t be stupid. I raised you better.”

 

“Well, _papa_ ,” he stresses. It’s good to be able to have someone to be a brat too. On the ice, he has to be in control and focused and sometimes he simply can’t do it anymore. “How should I feel?”

 

It gets Andre another eye roll but Nicky smiles this time. “Distance doesn’t matter if he’s your moon.”

 

Andre swallows hard. “I don’t know,” he admits. It feels like by now he’s supposed to know or be able to tell. Maybe it’s because it wasn’t just the two of them for years. They were a group of three and now they’re just two and everything needs to be refigured out.

 

“That’s ok too, Andre.” Nicky unwinds himself off of the seat and crouches in front of him. He rests his hand on Andre’s head, pulling him down so their foreheads touch. “Burkie.”

 

“I know, I know.” It comes out more petulant than he intends. Nicky ruffles his hair as he gets to his feet.

 

“You'll figure it out.”

 

It's reassuring sort of. Andre wishes Nicky would just tell him how to feel as well. It would make all of this so much easier. “How did you know?” He's asked before, countless times by now. 

 

“He feels better than sunshine,” Nicky answers. Just like every other time. 

 

-

 

Andre is grateful for when the season finally starts. Preseason and training camp were one thing but getting to be out there and actually competing is entirely different. It feels even better when he scores.

 

Just as good is Tom seems better. This is what they've been raised to do. 

 

Nicky keeps shooting him looks though and even hip checks him into Tom during a practice. Tom laughs and wraps his arms around Andre like a protective boyfriend. He has a slight height advantage, just enough to rest his chin on Andre’s shoulder. There’s too many layers between them to feel Tom’s body but just the pressure around him is enough to make the warmth in Andre’s gut want to bubble out.

 

He knows he's turned bright red and quickly wriggles away hoping Tom doesn't see. He doesn't want to make things weird and giving off sunlight in the middle of practice is so much more than weird. Luckily Trotz calls them all in and they can move on quickly. The drills they're running means he and Tom are on different lines at least.

 

Andre doesn’t look. He can’t look. The feeling that he might lose control is still there under his skin. He doesn’t really remember getting through practice. He figures he’s done well enough to not get in trouble, Andre _hopes_  he would remember that.

 

When he’s half dressed back into his own clothes, Ovi suddenly appears at his side though. “Hurry up.”

 

“What?” He glances around and realizes most of the other guys have left. Tom seems to be lingering though. He’s sitting next to Sanford, going over something with him.

 

“Hurry up,” Ovi repeats.

 

Andre takes another look around, Nicky isn’t anywhere in sight. There’s just Ovi, sitting next to him quickly losing patience. Andre suddenly wants to ask about his hair. He knows why, but he’s never had the guts to ask how Ovechkin feels about it. To have some physical part of him permanently changed because of Nicky. He swallows the question back though and quickly finishes changing.

 

Tom just happens to fall in step with them as Ovi leads Andre out. 

 

“Everything ok?” He asks softly, brow pinched in worry. 

 

“Everything…” Andre swallows hard. It feels wrong to lie but he can't just blurt out what is actually going on. 

 

“Sunshine need some stern captain time,” Ovi cuts in. 

 

“Sunshine?” Tom mouths. 

 

“It's uh- from Nicky,” Andre says, feeling his cheeks heat up again. Tom's lips curl up in a small smile.

 

He hip checks Andre lightly, just enough that Andre can feel it but it doesn't make him stumble. “You are my sunshine,” he sings, too loud and off key. 

 

Ovi purses his lips but doesn't make him stop. Maybe he's expecting Andre too. But Andre wants too badly for it to be real to make the words come out.

 

“You would tell me, right?” Tom asks when they reach the parking lot. “If something was wrong? We're bros.”

 

Andre makes himself smile though he knows it's not the same as if he was out in his light. The parking garage is cold and concrete and grey. “Yes. Of course.”

 

Tom doesn't look like he entirely believes him but he squeezes Andre's shoulder and says his goodbyes. Leaving Andre and Ovi standing together. “Nicky is worried,” Ovi says as he walks to his car. 

 

“Why?”

 

Ovi gets into the driver seat and waits for Andre to get in as well. “Sunshine like you, not good alone.” He throws the car into reverse and drives too fast out of the garage.

 

If this was with Nicky and he could talk in Swedish, he'd be grumpy and petulant. Ovi is his captain though, even living with him and Nicky for a few months didn't shake that out of him. “What should I do then?”

 

Ovi shakes his head. “Nicky told me very serious I can't tell you that.” Andre stares out the window. “I want to tell you though, is ok to take risks. Best way to play, best way to live.” 

 

“It's not how we can live.”

 

They're silent for a long time. Andre realizes that they're not heading back to Ovi’s place but he holds his tongue. He's tired of being lectured. He heard it all before he came to the United States and again before being called up from Hershey and every so often since he's been in DC. 

 

Ovi finally pulls up in front of a dingy bar Andre has never seen before. He's pretty sure Nicky would not approve of Ovi taking him here. “Is this-”

 

Ovi laughs. “Not mob. No gangsters.” But there's a gleam in his eyes like the edge of a crescent moon that Andre doesn't entirely trust. Inside, Ovi goes straight to some back corner table, not quite out of the way but enough. “No one will walk in on us here, it's private.”

 

Two beers are brought over even though nothing was ordered. It gives Andre something to do with his hands.

 

“Russians don't have anything like you Swedes. Did you know?” Ovi says after a few moments just drinking. Andre nods his head because he did know. It's told like a horror story to children. The Communist government beat nature out its citizens. “Makes it weird, Nicky choosing me. Lots of senses I not used to.”

 

“Do you like it?” Andre finds himself asking, emboldened by the cheap beer or the bars dim lighting. “Being a moon?”

 

Ovi smiles, big and bright. “You mean do I care I have hair like sexy silver fox?”

 

“Gross. Don't want to think about parents in bed.” Ovi lets him divert the conversation for a little bit but not too long. Eventually though, Ovi leans back in his chair and fixes him with a look he can’t read. “I don’t want to make him choose,” Andre says.

 

Ovi nods knowingly. “He Canadian though, not Russian. Still have something in his bones.” His phone must go off or something because he’s momentarily distracted pulling it out. “Come, time to go.” 

 

-

 

Andre doesn’t actually know if Canadians have anything in them, or maybe it’s from wherever they originally moved from. There was never a reason before. It always looked like Mike and Tom would figure their shit out. He knows _now_  it was never going to happen, Mike told him so before he left.

 

After Ovi drops him off back at his building, Andre considers stopping by Tom’s. He should apologize for his behavior earlier.

_Sorry, even dappled sunlight isn’t complete without a moon and I think I want it to be you._ Doesn’t really flow off the tongue in any language. He turns quickly and walks into his own apartment. Tomorrow. He’ll figure out what to say tomorrow.

-

He’s woken up by a loud banging on his door and stumbles out of bed. He feels weak and queasy and flinches at the bright artificial lights in the hall outside his front door. It’s Tom, dressed to go out and with his phone pressed against his ear. He pulls it away as he takes a look at Andre.

“You look like shit.”

 

“Tak,” he mumbles, waving Tom in just so he can close the damn door. “What’s up?”

 

Tom’s not listening to him though. Whoever he was talking to gets hung up on and he’s grabbing Andre’s chin with one hand while pressing the other to his forehead. “Did Ovi drink you under the table last night or something?” 

 

“Nicky would kill him if he did.” He leans into Tom’s hand, hating himself a little bit for it, but it feels good, cool. 

 

“Yea good point.” To Andre’s disappointment his hands drop away from his face, but he quickly wraps an arm around his waist and that’s just as good. Tom leads him to his living room and gently pushes him onto a couch. “Is the sun out?” He asks, his blinds still closed.

 

“What? No. Why?”

 

Andre breathes a soft ‘oh’ and sinks further into the couch. Usually it doesn’t bother him this much, maybe because it’s still so early in the season.

 

“Burt? Andre?” Andre realizes he’s closed his eyes and he can feel Tom’s hand on his cheek.  He opens his eyes to Tom leaning over him. For a second he can’t breathe. “What the fuck man? I’m calling Nicky-”

 

“I’m ok,” he says quickly, managing something like a smile. “Um. there’s vitamin D somewhere-” He starts to push himself up but Tom doesn’t let him. “Tom. Please don’t call Nicky.” It’s the wrong thing to say, he knows it immediately. Any other time, any other circumstance it wouldn’t matter, but Tom wouldn’t do anything that would risk the team.

 

“What’s wrong? Does this have anything to do with how fucking weird you were acting yesterday?” His phone is out, he doesn’t have to say the threat to make it clear. If Andre doesn’t answer, he’s calling Nicky.

 

Andre pouts.

 

Tom drops beside him in a huff.

 

They’re close enough their shoulders press together. “I like you,” Andre blurts out. He can feel the heat in his cheeks and he sinks down further into the couch. “Um- not just friend like.” He’s pretty sure he’s not going to throw up but he really wishes he’d pushed Tom to get him the vitamin D pills. 

 

It doesn’t help that Tom is quiet and he stays quiet. 

 

Andre can't make himself look at him.

 

“And that makes you sick?” Tom finally asks, his voice deceptively quiet, too quiet for Andre to figure out any nuance or emotion. Andre gives a hard shake of his head. “You ever gonna talk to me again?”

 

“Don’t know what to say,” he mumbles. Tom suddenly gets up and Andre curls up tighter. He shouldn’t be surprised, he didn’t even need to worry about explaining anything else. Of course Tom isn’t interested.

 

“So why are you sick?” Tom’s voice makes him jump in surprise. He’s standing in front of Andre, the bottle of pills in one hand and a Gatorade in the other.

 

Andre licks his lips, but he already knows what he’s going to say. One surprise was more than enough before breakfast. “Think it’s stomach thing, Ovi took me to a um dinky? Place.”

 

“Dingy,” he says with a small smirk, as if he’s assuming Andre is just trying to hide a hangover. “Took you to a dingy place. Figures.” He looks at the vitamins, looking like he wants to ask but he just holds them out along with the water. Andre smiles gratefully at him. The silence is awkward though, Tom still standing over him, watching as he takes a few capsules at once.

 

“Tom-” He starts.

 

“Look,” Tom says at the same time. He sighs, the sadness that Andre had thought Tom was finally shaking off still there in his eyes after all. “I don’t- I just- We’re friends Burkie. And Mike’s gone so I don’t want this to get fucked up.”

 

Andre gets that. He really does so he doesn’t say anything.

 

The silence stretches out. 

 

“I’m gonna call Nicky,” Tom mumbles and he flees. There’s no other word for it. Andre is still on the couch when Nicky gets there later.

 

-

 

The next few days pass in a blur, he feels better but now that he’s had time to think about how things happened with Tom, he feels incredibly embarrassed. It’s easier to throw himself into playing and think about nothing else until focusing on the rest of the world doesn’t keep leading him back to Tom.

 

He has no choice once the road trip starts. He would normally sit next to Tom but before he can decide what to do, Jojo pulls him down beside him and Andre watches Ovechkin take the seat beside Tom.

 

“Marcus-”

 

“You’ll figure this out,” Marcus says with a shrug. Andre finds himself smiling, grateful for the quiet assurance Marcus projects. “Now come on, help me find a present for my mom.”

 

Nicky stops by later to check in and some of the other guys seem to pick up on how he’s apparently being coddled. Williams reaches over to ruffle his hair and Schmidt bounces over to make him listen to a new song. 

 

“Can’t believe he has no sun,” Marcus said in Swedish once Schmidt went back to his own seat, giving a bemused shake of his head.

 

“Maybe it’s there a little bit.”

 

Marcus hums and shrugs. Andre feels better when they land. The feeling continues through the road trip, even after they lose. By the end he can even be close to Tom without being upset. He keeps taking vitamin D just in case. Sometimes he wishes he was more like Nicky or Marcus, they aren't as affected by their moods.

 

They're starting to win though and they keep winning. Everyone seems more comfortable like they were all feeling as if something was wrong, smiling and joking around. It's contagious. 

 

-

 

He's woken up by a sudden sharp rap on his door. He immediately panics that he's slept through his alarm and is going to miss the bus back to the airport. In his half asleep panic, he gets tangled up in the sheet and hits the ground hard. 

 

Somewhere between getting the blanket off and finding his feet, he realizes it's barely even past midnight. 

 

When he opens the door, it's Tom on the other side, dressed in only sweats and looking mildly harried. Andre swallows back against the desire to smooth his hair down. 

 

“What wrong?”

 

“Sorry, I uh.” Tom's cheeks turn bright red and he looks down at himself. “Fuck I just realized how stupid this is.”

 

“Tom,” it comes out as a whine but he can't even make himself care.

 

“I panicked. I walked in on Nicky and Ovi and they…”

 

Andre blinks slowly, trying to make sense of Tom's halting, jumbled English. “They what? Having sex? They do that all the time.” Tom is gaping at him which feels strangely unfair. “I live with them. So did Kuzy, ask him. Everywhere.” He yawns. 

 

“They were in the hotel pool.”

 

Andre grins. “Your fault for being there late.” Tom's face takes on a pinched look, that makes Andre pause. “Did you know?” Tom gives a small shrug which is answer enough so with another yawn Andre lets him in. Everything about this is a bad idea considering their conversation just a week ago but he's not going to pawn Tom off on someone else. 

 

“How long?” Tom asks as soon as the door closes. He casts a glance at the blanket and takes a seat on the untouched bed, leaving Andre to rearrange himself and his bedding. 

 

“Seven years I think.”

 

“I never noticed,” he whispers. 

 

“They don't like to be obvious. For Ovi.”

 

Tom is quiet for long enough Andre starts to feel himself drift off back to sleep. He can hear Tom's breathing, calm and steady. He's thinking, not panicking. 

 

“Hey, Andre, you already asleep man?” He finally speaks up and Andre manages to grunt in response. “I overreacted. Um at your place.” 

 

He hides a smile into his pillow. “‘sok,” he mumbles.

 

“No, it's not,” Tom insists. “I'm sorry.” 

 

Andre doesn't say anything, just let's Tom think he's fallen asleep. He just lets himself enjoy the warmth in his stomach, creeping out through his limbs. After a few minutes he hears Tom get up and leave. He sighs and turns over to finally fall back to sleep. 

 

His skin is warm even though it's the middle of the night. 

 

-

 

By the end of the road trip, Tom drops into the bus seat next to him. Marcus shoots him a look as he passes to his own seat but doesn’t do anything. Tom just pulls on his headphones as if the past week didn’t happen and after a minute Andre lets himself relax.

 

He watches the city lights move past them as they head to the airport. Everyone is in a good mood but tired at the same time, casting a strange mood over the bus. Like they can’t really relax and enjoy ending the road trip on a win until they’re truly out of the city. 

 

Nothing really changes once they get on the plane though. Most of the guys end up falling asleep pretty quickly, including Tom who is still sitting at Andre’s side. Andre can’t make himself settle though. 

 

Moving carefully so as not to disturb Tom, he slips out of his seat to stretch out in the aisle. It’s not enough though so he makes his way towards the front of the cabin where the coaches are, maybe they have some tape, something for him to do. He passes by Alex and Nicky, Nicky asleep with his head on Alex’s shoulder and Alex staring out the window. He must hear Andre approaching because his head turns to catch his eye.

 

“Hey, Little Sunshine,” he murmurs. “Aren’t suns supposed to be asleep at night?” He runs his fingers through Nicky’s hair to emphasize his point.

 

“Can’t,” he admits with a shrug.

 

Alex nods sagely as if Andre’s one word answer revealed deep truths. Andre rolls his eyes at him which makes Alex snort in surprise. “Too much time with Nicky,” he teases but then his expression sobers up. “Willy better?”

 

Andre can’t help but steal a glance back towards where Tom is still asleep, head tipped back and mouth open. It’s incredibly unattractive and yet he finds himself biting his lip. “Yes.” When he looks back at Alex, he’s smirking. “I’m going to-” He feels his cheeks heating up and he takes a quick look down at his hands to make sure it’s just a standard blush and there’s no glow. 

 

Trotz gives him a weird look when Andre reaches him but seems more than happy to pass him some clips.

 

Tom is still asleep when Andre finally gets back to their seats, he shuffles around though as Andre’s making himself comfortable. His arm ends up pressed along Andre’s and over the next hour while Andre focuses on tape, Tom ends up curling into him. Andre doesn’t realize it until Tom starts to wake up.

 

“You’re warm,” he mumbles, eyes still closed.

 

“Just admit I’m hotter than you,” Andre chirps automatically. 

 

Tom huffs a soft laugh. “Never.” Andre elbows him lightly. He doesn’t expect Tom to catch his wrist and squeeze softly. “Rude.”

 

He stares down at where they’re touching. There’s a sudden spark of anger that Tom seems to think they can just go back to normal that quickly. He doesn’t like the feeling, it’s like skating over soft ice but he runs out of time and Tom pulls his hand away.

 

“Sorry I-” 

 

Andre swallows back how badly he wants to shake Tom right now and instead leads into him. “Just- later?”

 

Tom gives him a small, crooked smile. “Yea, maybe I’ll finally manage to stop shoving my foot in my mouth.” He mirrors Andre and they’re close enough Tom’s hair tickles Andre’s forehead. He resists the urge to pull back, create space again. He doesn’t know what’s going through Tom’s head right now and he wants to see more of that smile.

 

The moment is still interrupted when Andre suddenly yawns, big enough his jaw cracks. It startles a laugh out of Tom who immediately leans back and tugs on Andre’s sleeve until he leans against him.

 

“Sleep you idiot,” he says.

 

Andre tries to argue but he can feel his eyelids already growing heavy. Tom is warm He tells himself he’ll make sure they figure things out tomorrow. After he’s slept. 

 

He's woken up by someone gently nudging him and when he opens his mouth he can feel his ears pop. He squeezes his eyes shut, he’s stiff from sleeping in an airplane seat with his head on Tom’s shoulder and moving just sounds painful.

 

“Up, Andre.” It’s Nicky’s voice which catches him off guard. Someone, presumably Nicky, pokes him in the forehead. “Don’t make call your mother,” he says, switching to Swedish which is at least a little easier for Andre to process.

 

Reluctantly he opens his eyes. Nicky is sitting backwards on the seats in front of him and Tom, looking horribly pleased with himself. “Don’t need to call Alex,” Andre mumbles, his tongue thick in his mouth from the plane’s recycled air.

 

Nicky smirks and holds up something that rattles when he shakes it. “Vitamin D, we’re about to land and it’s dark out still.”

 

“You’re not my real dad,” he says even as he pushes himself up to take the bottle from him. Tom must have fallen back asleep as well cause Andre can feel him start to shift and move, heavy and slow.

 

Nicky reaches over to him to poke him in the forehead too. “We’re about to land.”

 

Tom blinks and looks back and forth between them. “Did I miss something?” Nicky gives a small shake of his head and twists back around to sit properly in what Andre knows isn’t his seat. Tom leans over close enough his lips brush Andre’s ear. “What just happened?” He whispers. 

 

Andre just shrugs. He’s saved from having to answer anything else by Oshie coming over and loudly whining at Nicky for trying to steal his seat and therefore all of his glory. Carly quickly gets dragged in and once the d-men are involved, Ovi isn’t far behind and from there it all descends into a controlled chaos until Trotz yells at them to sit their asses down and anyone dumb enough to get hurt during landing is doing bag skates for the rest of their careers.

 

-

 

They don’t talk when they land. Or when they get off the plane. Or on the drive back to their apartment. Andre keeps  _ waiting _ but Tom says nothing. Not in the elevator, or in the short walk to their front doors. Except when Andre walks past Tom’s, he realizes Tom’s still following.

 

He doesn't say anything, just let's Tom in.

 

“In the morning?” he offers. He had taken enough vitamin D to get home but now he needs real sleep. Tom nods and heads to the guest room. Andre considers calling him back for a split second before deciding it was for the best. They need to talk. 

 

He falls asleep as soon as he hits the pillow. He has his suit pants and shirt still on and they're wrinkled when he wakes up. But the sun is out as well and everything from the plane ride seems far away. 

 

He strips out of his wrinkled clothes, leaving them on his bed and grabs a pair of old sweats from back when he played in Sweden. They're worn out and soft and he doesn't think much else about them. Until he stumbles out of his room and Tom is on his couch, dressed for the day and staring at him.

 

“Um.” Andre turns red.

 

Tom drags his eyes up and Andre notices the red across his cheeks as well. “So.” 

 

“I need...I need coffee,” he speaks slowly, making sure he is speaking in English.

 

“I started some,” Tom says as Andre heads into the kitchen. He can hear Tom get up and pad after him, but he doesn’t say anything else while Andre pours himself a cup. “I need to apologize,” he finally says when Andre turns back. He’s staring down at his hands on the counter. “Really. Fuck. I panicked. I- I- like you too. A lot.”

 

“What?” He runs his hand through his hair. “Tom…”

 

“I know!” He says hurriedly. “I know.” Andre makes his way around the counter until they're standing side by side. “When Mike first joined the team,” Tom finally says, leaning slightly into Andre. “I had the stupidest crush. Fucking head over heels. He made sure I got it that I wasn't his type.”

 

“If you still love him I understand,” Andre says quickly, trying to keep his tone neutral. 

 

“Nah, just scared of going through that all over again.” He reaches over, slowly so Andre can follow the movement. Tom covers Andre’s hand with his own, entwining their fingers. “So I was a dick to you.”

 

This close, Andre is intensely aware of the slight difference in their heights especially when Tom finally looks at him and he has to lean down slightly to touch his forehead ot Andre’s, their eyes locked together. He licks his lips, his mouth suddenly incredibly dry. Now that the moment is here and happening, Andre doesn’t know what he feels or maybe he’s just feeling too much. “What changed?” He hears himself asking.

 

“Oshie kicked my ass. And Ovi, and the rest of the team was probably in line, ” he says sheepishly. “I didn't suddenly fall in love or some crap.”

 

“Ok,” he breathes. Back in Sweden, Nick always said he believed people too easily. But Tom isn't just people. He tilts his head to kiss him, just a brush of lips but Tom gasps and presses closer and Andre stops thinking entirely. Tom's hands are solid where they come to rest on his hips. He crowds closer, wanting Tom to hold tighter so Andre can feel the scrape of calluses, feel him dig his fingers in hard enough to leave marks. 

 

Tom gives him exactly what he wants and Andre feels like he's both floating and weighted down all at once. A soft whine escapes him when the kiss finally ends. Tom's staring at him, his eyes dazed and his lips swollen red. They haven't done anything but kiss and Tom looks wrecked.

 

“I,” Tom pauses and licks his lips before starting again. “Are you glowing?”

 

-

 

Rationally, Andre knows he's overreacting and he doesn't need to panic. In reality though he fled to his room to call Nicky. 

 

Tom had followed more slowly. Andre couldn't make himself look at his face. Even when Nicky asked him to put Tom on and he had to pass the phone over. He doesn't know what Nicky says to him but after he hangs up, Tom sinks down to sit on the floor, leaning back against the wall. 

 

“I'm sorry,” he mumbles. “That hasn't happened during a first kiss since Nick. Um my Nick, back in Sweden. And we thought it would work but it didn't and I didn't want… not the first kiss.”

 

“Hey, Burkie. It's ok.”

 

Andre doubts that. Tom's never made any mention of anything in his blood. Latts at least felt like stone and sometimes even let it cover his skin but not very often, and Andre doesn’t know if Tom ever saw. Tom probably has no idea what any of this means.

 

“Look,” Tom sighs and slides across the floor so he’s closer. Close enough he can wrap his hand around Andre’s ankle. “Whatever the fuck is happening, it’s ok.” He grins, big and bright, making the corners of his eyes crinkle up. “You dealt with my asshole behavior. I’m not running away cause you _glow_.”

 

“Don’t glow,” he grumbles, feeling a small smile tug on his lips. “Suns _shine_.”

 

Tom moves closer, resting his chin on Andre’s knee. “Oh yea?”

 

“Duh. Don’t you learn science in school?”

 

“As if I ever paid attention.” 

 

Hesitantly, as if the touch of dappled sunlight could actually burn anyone, he touches his fingers to Tom’s hair. He doesn’t know what kind of reaction he’s even expecting but there’s nothing so he pushes his fingers in, threading through Tom’s hair. Tom sighs contentedly, as if this could be all he ever needs. Andre’s shoulders feel heavy with the responsibility. It’s never felt so easy to just push, draw Tom in, fill everything with sunlight and make Tom into his moon. There’s nothing there to push him back.

 

It would be so easy and then Tom would understand and Andre could share the responsibility. He would have someone always there to be his balance. A hand on his shoulder. Or a ball and chain to keep him from ever leaving the earth.

 

Andre jerks his hand back. Tom looks up, brow furrowed in confusion and Andre simply doesn’t know the words to explain what he’s thinking. “Nicky can explain,” is all he can say. Tom doesn’t seem truly assured by that but he shrugs.

 

“I’m going to go and make sure the living room doesn’t look like I spent the night freaking out on your couch,” he says after a moment and pushes himself up. Leaving Andre alone on his bed staring at the floor. His hands feel too warm as if he’s a kid again without enough control, his mother sighing and shoving him into a cold shower after he accidentally burns another kitchen towel because he wants to help her bake.

 

He can’t hear the knock on his door, but he hears when it opens and the low burst of voices when Tom greets Nicky. Andre starts to push himself up, he needs to get himself together. Stop acting like some child with their first crush.

 

Nicky’s already at the door and just smiles at Andre’s pained sigh.

 

“I know, I screwed up. Like you said and I got in too deep and I can’t-”

 

“Stop worrying,” Nicky interrupts. “You have to learn to skate, right?” Andre frowns at him because he’s old enough now to have some control, he’s kissed other people without immediately wanting to bond with them. “Stop pouting,” Nicky teases. “It only works on Tom.”

 

“I don’t know how to tell him,” he grumbles, ignoring Nicky’s teasing. “Not in English and he has to know.”

 

“I know,” Nicky says softly. “It’s being taken care of.”

 

“And- what?” His head snaps around to eye Nicky suspiciously. “What does that mean?”

 

“I’m hurt you don’t trust me,” Nicky says flatly but Andre’s lived with him, Nicky’s been looking out for him since he first got called up. He can see how he’s trying not to just shine with amusement. They stare at each other for a moment longer before Nicky gives a small smile and shrug. “Oshie is talking to him right now.”

 

“Oh. Not Alex?”

 

Nicky pushes away from the door and comes over to sit next to him. “Thought it might be easier for Oshie to explain.”

 

“Oh,” he says quietly. There doesn’t seem to be much else to say. Nicky reaches over to give his shoulder a squeeze and leaves his arm there draped across Andre. “What if we do….and one of us gets traded?”

 

“You can break it. You can stay together long distance. You can not worry about that until it maybe happens.” 

 

Andre knows that’s all true. There really is no point in even worrying about it when he and Tom aren’t even that close yet. He wishes he could shrug these things off, focus on playing and Tom’s smile. Nicky doesn’t say anything, just stays there beside him. There’s the faintest hum of voices from the living room, and Andre doesn’t feel like interrupting yet. It’s easier to just lean into Nicky and wait.

 

They don’t have to wait long before Oshie yells out. “Stop hiding, Swedes!”

 

Andre doesn’t have to look to know Nicky’s rolling his eyes. “Too much time with Ovi,” he says under his breath. He gets up though and gently pulls Andre after him.

 

Oshie and Tom are in the living room and for some reason there’s paper everywhere. Oshie looks bashful for a moment before shrugging. “Giving Tommy a demonstration.” Tom is staring down at his feet but he looks up at his name. 

 

His eyes skim over Andre to land on Nicky who still has a hand on Andre’s back. “Is this part of why Latts and Richie hooked up?”

 

“It doesn’t control who we are. More like who we are defines the um,” Nicky says softly.

 

“Element,” Oshie provides.

 

Nicky gives a small nod of thanks. “It’s just another...another trait? Like how stubborn a person is or sense of humor.”

 

Andre sinks down onto the coffee table close to Tom. “I won't do anything to you. I promise.”

 

Tom gives him bemused smile. “I know that Burkie.” Andre finds himself blushing and ducking his head to try and hide it. So he doesn't see when Tom reaches out. He yelps loudly when he's physically pulled off the table and onto his lap.

 

“Please don't break each other,” Andre can hear Nicky say dryly but he's too focused on Tom's lips on his cheek, mouthing words lightly against his skin. 

 

“Aw it's cute, papa,” Oshie is saying. “Young puppy love.”

 

“As long as they remember we still have an afternoon practice in less than two hours.”

 

That gets Andre to focus. Tom groans at the same time. “We can continue later?” Andre says, curling his hand on the nape of Tom's neck. The short hairs there tickle his palm. 

 

“Later,” Tom says. _Promises_.

 

“Without an audience!” Oshie says loudly. 

 

“Do we need to stay to make sure you behave?” Nicky asks, so blatantly amused.

 

“Go away Papa,” Tom says, wrapping his arms tighter around Andre and resting his chin on his shoulder. Andre squirms closer to him because he can. “We’re adults.”

 

Nicky’s eyebrows climb up his forehead but before he can vocalize his extreme disbelief, Oshie punches him lightly on the arm. “Come on, it’s on them if Trotz makes them bag skate.” Nicky looks considering, his expression carefully neutral but Andre knows him too well. He will be the one to encourage Trotz to do his worst. 

 

“We’ll be there,” he says quickly. “Don’t worry.”

 

-

 

They don't do anything more after practice, both are worn out and Andre lets Tom pull him into his place to nap together. 

 

Tom is broader than him and when he curls around Andre, he feels surrounded. Andre can breathe in and it's Tom. He rests his forehead on Tom's shoulder to feel him breathe. 

 

He wakes up feeling warm and settled. They've shifted in sleep so Tom has spooned against his back, his arm over his waist. He's still asleep so for a long moment, Andre doesn't move, doesn't even open his eyes. He finds Tom’s hand and entangles their fingers. 

 

“Not getting up yet,” Tom mumbles.

 

“Ok,” he laughs. He twists around so they’re face to face. Tom squeezes his eyes shut, his lips curling into a pout.  “I can go back to my place I guess.” He taps Tom’s nose. “Probably need to make dinner anyway.”

 

“I’m cozy you jerk.” Tom’s arms tighten around him.

 

“Hey!” Andre laughs, pushing Tom onto his pack so he can fall on top of him. He rests his forehead on Tom’s and finally his eyes are open, looking back at Andre. “Not your….your baby blanket,” he says, his voice dropping lower and softer. “Not what boyfriends are for.”

 

“Boyfriend, eh?”

 

Andre feels his cheeks start to heat up, he shouldn't have presumed so soon but Tom pushes up to kiss him. 

 

A soft gasp escapes him and he shifts slightly, just enough Tom’s thigh fits between his own. He can feel the echoing groan from Tom and it’s like a switch has been flipped for both of them. The kiss becomes heated and rough, Andre catching Tom’s lower lip between his teeth.

 

Tom's hands are underneath his shirt, pushing the fabric up until it bunches at his shoulder blades but Andre isn't stopping yet to bother taking it off. He grinds down against Tom's thigh, drawing a moan from both of them. 

 

He finally pulls back to yank of his shirt. Tom's hands are immediately on his stomach, running over his abs and making him squirm. 

 

“Fuck, Andre,” he gasps, eyes squeezing shut. “Don't do that.”

 

He smiles slowly and leans down, bracing his arms on either side of Tom's head. “Do this?” He rocks his hips.

 

Tom groans and bucks his hips up. “Fuck.” His voice is already wrecked and Andre wants to hear more. He starts to move with more intent, willing Tom to match his rhythm. But when they are, it's perfect. Andre presses his face against Tom's neck, mouthing at sweat slick skin. They're both frantic, desperate and once they start moving together, they don't last much longer. 

 

Tom comes, his fingers digging into Andre's skin and Andre's name on his lips. That's enough to push Andre over as well. 

 

They lie there, both of them breathing hard and still tangled up.

 

“Can't believe I fucking came in my boxers,” Tom finally says. 

 

Andre lifts his head, not sure if he's actually annoyed or not. When he sees the pleased smile on Tom's lips, he relaxes. “It's ok to admit I'm just too hot for you.”

 

Tom laughs and shoves Andre off of him. “See if I ever even offer to suck your dick.” He gets out of bed and kicks off his boxers. 

 

Andre needs to get out of bed and follow Tom's example but he stays to admire the view. Tom glances over his shoulder at him and smirks and struts the rest of the way to the bathroom. 

 

“Hurry the fuck up, Burkie,” he yells back at him. Andre doesn't bother to putting on kind of show of being huffy at being yelled at, just quickly chases Tom to the bathroom. 

 

-

 

Andre is used to being in and out of Alex and Nicky’s place. When he finally decided to move out, Ovi actually sat him to do make sure he knew he was always welcome. Tom’s the reason that they’re over now. 

 

He’s nervous though, clinging to Andre’s hand like he's meeting his parents.

 

“Relax,” Andre says. “What's wrong?”

 

“I just-” he shrugs. “It's nothing.”

 

“Tom if you don't want-” He's cut off by his phone vibrating and he pulls it out to see a message from Nicky. “We're being yelled at to come inside.” He tells Tom. 

 

Tom looks like he might say something else but he instead ducks in for a quick kiss before opening the door. They find Ovi and Nicky in the living room, game tape playing on the TV. Ovi is sitting up on the couch while Nicky is stretched out, his head pillowed on Ovi’s thigh. “Good, good, you came inside. Nicky was very worried,” Ovi says as he pauses the tape. Nicky makes a muffled whining sound as the movement squishes his head between Ovi’s chest and thigh. He doesn’t move though and quickly Ovi is sitting back, his fingers curling into Nicky’s hair.

 

Andre and Tom sit side by side, close enough they touch but nothing nearly as intimate. Andre can feel how nervous Tom still is though and takes his hand, entwining their fingers. While trying not to think about what Tom was doing with those fingers the night before.

 

“So,” Alex says. “You say you have very important question?” He tilts his head slightly, looking hard at Tom. “You want everyone else to go?”

 

Tom shakes his head and squeezes Andre's hand tight. “No. Um well. Kind of, but they should be here.”

 

Andre stays quiet, Tom didn't tell him anything about what he wanted to ask or even why they're even there.

 

“I wanted to ask…what was it like to be. Connected?”

 

Andre gasps but quickly slaps his free hand over his mouth. Tom gives him a small pleased smile. “We're good together Burkie,” he says softly. Andre knows he's glowing, bright and happy like dappled sunlight playing through ivy. 


End file.
